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Poem by ~Xander89:iconXander89:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Old Poetry Structure > Emotional


takes a little blood to stop the pain
it takes your love to stop this blood
if you could only see the rives when your not here
so don’t take to long coming back because I’d shed my blood for you
maybe one day you can stop this pain and heal my wounds
till then I’ll be standing on this wire swaying
hoping you will be there when I fall
©2004-2010 ~Xander89
:iconxander89:

Author's Comments

something i thought of amist my valentines blues

Comments


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:iconsaint-nightmare:
~Saint-Nightmare Feb 14, 2004, 9:55:01 PM
Blood is redunadant. There is little or no attention to grammer. It has no flow, rhythm, or metre. It needs to be broken up more. It fails to create any sense of feeling, nor is there any sort of 'picture.' It needs a lot of work. :)

Best wishes :kiss:
Nightmare

--
WRITE MOTHERFUCKER
:iconmelraven:
~melraven Feb 15, 2004, 10:04:58 AM
oh wow! that's awesome. im going to fave it. its really cool and full of emotion. good job! :+fav:

--
WORK like you don't need the money
LOVE like you've never been hurt
DANCE like nobody's watching
SING like nobody's listening
LIVE like it's Heaven on Earth.
:iconxander89:
~Xander89 Feb 15, 2004, 5:04:58 PM
its just a some thoughts, its not some hamlet or something

--
Drink up
:iconduct-tape-chan:
~Duct-Tape-chan Feb 21, 2004, 2:52:34 PM
Aiye, I think this is so sweet! I wish I could write poetry... Of course even if I could I wouldn't be able to because of this stupid writer's block. x__=

Nice job, whee! :D

--
Gone! :ohnoes:

[link]
:iconstellalumen:
~StellaLumen Mar 10, 2004, 7:54:35 PM
I love this poem. You remind me of this friend of mine..or at least your writing does. Very deep. I can tell that you put emotion into writing it..and if you didnt..at least is sounds like it..ha ha..high five.
:iconmicorazonfif:
~micorazonFIF Mar 15, 2004, 1:20:29 PM
it's cool how you used cause--effect at the begining, then came back to it toward the end.
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February 14, 2004
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